Resentment is Exhausting…Seriously…

I don’t know who first said, “Resentment is like setting yourself on fire waiting for the other person to burn must have had a lifetime,” but I sure would like to give them a big ole’ hug for the warning.

Resentment is truly one of the most exhausting activities I’ve ever participated in and the payoff is worse! I tried to feel angry at someone today who I have resented for a long time.  However, instead of boiling blood, a racing heart, a narrow brow and reenacting the situation that sent me into the funnel of anger in the first place, I just felt…tired.  The thought of trying to muster up the anger only made it more difficult for me to focus what I was working on.

I just secured a contract for my newly formed company, I have a couple of other contracts in the works, I have to finish memorizing lines for the next “One Chick Army” show, I have to pack up my house.  I have so many things to do that this troll of a thought popping up in my head was just bad timing.

Yet, lately, I’ve noticed, it’s always bad timing.  I am really tired of being angry, hating, waiting for karma to right a wrong.  I realized what I wanted more than anything is acceptance of what is and release.  I am no longer interesting in knowing the latest shot that was fired or the latest lie that was told.  Nor am I interested in avoiding going certain places so I don’t run into them.

Many books and songs have been written about the benefits of forgiveness.  Maybe I’ll write one too and include how much energy I have when I don’t focus on Who Done Me Wrong.

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